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Living with Morbid Obesity
Living with Morbid Obesity - A Patient's Story
The world of a morbidly
obese person can be pretty small. Physical activity is uncomfortable,
obesity-related health issues can limit lifestyles, and it just
isn’t much fun to go out and always be the largest person
in sight. Some obese people don’t travel, socialize, or do
much of anything because it’s just too painful – physically
and/or emotionally.
I have never been one to let those kinds of limitations get in the
way of living my life, but the world wasn’t set up for comfort
or respect for me when I was obese.
There were the “please not here, please not here” looks
I used to get while walking down the aisle of an airplane in search
of my seat. And the time a flight attendant loudly and disgustedly
told me there was no way a seatbelt would fit around me without
an extender. I didn’t need a seat belt extender. I needed
a hole to open up and swallow me.
There were the jobs I was afraid to apply for because the ad stated
“professional appearance required” and it’s difficult
to look professional when the only things you can fit in comfortably
are sweats. And there were the jobs I did apply for that I didn’t
get and wondered if I had one strike against me going in because
of my weight. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t, but I can’t
be sure.
There were the doctors who gladly took my $90 for an appointment
but who never actually touched me. The same doctors whose insightful
questions included, “Have you ever tried to lose weight?”
And their great advice was always something along the lines of,
“You need to push back from the table.”
There were the watches that pinched my wrist, “one size fits
all” clothes that didn’t fit me, and the chairs in movie
theaters and stadiums and my parents’ dining room that left
me on the edge of my seat – because they were too narrow and
I was too wide to sit back comfortably.
There were the proms I didn’t attend, although I was once
asked to go as a joke. There was the teasing from other kids at
school, the baby-sitter who called me “Fat Ang,” and
the observations of my grandfather about how big I was.
There were the carnival rides I wouldn’t even attempt to ride
with my son, cars I couldn’t get in and out of comfortably,
and restaurants where I couldn’t eat because their booths
didn’t have enough room for me.
There was the disappointment in my family’s eyes after every
diet failure, the dip in my bank account after every investment
in miracle pills or prepackaged meal plans, and the assault on my
confidence at being ignored or looked down upon by others.
But worse than anything the world could have heaped on me was the
way I treated myself. I can cite example after example of how the
rest of the world let me down because I was fat, but in reality
I was fat because I had let myself down.
These days, about pounds 140 pounds lighter than I was two years
ago, I’m living a whole new life.
People welcome me with a smile when I sit down next to them on an
airplane or at a baseball game or in a crowded waiting room. As
a freelancer I go after the projects I want and people are lining
up to get on my schedule. My doctors are excited to see the progress
I’ve made in my weight loss as well as improvements in all
other areas of my health. My watch dangles on my wrist like a bracelet,
“one size fits all” means too big for me, and I can
sit comfortably in any seat with my legs crossed.
My family can’t get over the shock of seeing me at a weight
I haven’t weighed since about fifth grade and my husband says
it’s like being married to a new woman – actually, he
says I’m the same, only happier.
I always got noticed when I walked into a room, but before it was
because I was one of the largest people in sight. These days I walk
into a room and get noticed because I’m a beautiful, interesting,
phenomenal woman. Of course, that’s what I’ve always
been. It just took the ObesitySolutions program to help me and the
rest of the world realize that.
Angi C. Harben
Athens, GA
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